MY ONLY SON CEDRIC (BUCKET) JOHNSON WHO WAS MURDERED LOVED FOOT BALL, ALL KINDS OF MUSIC, HE WAS VERY SMART IN SCHOOL & HE WOULD ALWAYS' HELP HIS 2 SISTERS WITH THEIR HOMEWORK . HE ALSO LOVED MY COOKING AT LEASE THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME. HE WAS MY SWEET HEART AND HE ALWAYS KNEW WHAT TO DO TO MAKE ME SMILE EVEN WHEN HE MAY HAVE DONE SOMETHING HE SHOULDN'T HAVE, HE LOVED ME SO MUCH, I LOVED HIM,ALWAYS WILL NOBODY COULD EVER TAKE THAT FROM US NOT EVEN THE ONE'S THAT TOOK HE LIFE. I PRAY THAT THEY WILL ONE DAY DO THAT RIGHT THING AND THAT TURN THEM SELF'S IN TO POLICE, ASK GOD TO FORGIVE THEM FOR ALL THEY HAVE DONE TO MY FAMILY AND TO THERE OWN FAMILY. BUCKET I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL. BUT I KNOW WE WILL MEET AGAIN ONE DAY BUT FOR NOW I HAVE TO TELL YOU I MISS YOU SO MUCH I MISS YOU HUGGING ME AND KISSING ME AND I MISS YOUR VOICE AND MOST OF ALL I JUST MISS YOU .WE ALL LOVE YOU ! BUCKET TAKE CARE OF YOUR GRANDMOTHERS. MY ONLY SON, MY LOVE, MY SOUL. ONE OF MY BABIES. I CAN'T TAKE THIS. I JUST KNOW THIS IS NOT FOR REAL OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE. I LOVED YOU BEFORE I FIRST HELD YOU. YOU DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE MURDERED. YOU WOULD NEVER HAD DONE THAT TO HIM. I WOULD HAVE GIVEN MY LIFE IN PLACE OF YOURS IF I COULD . BUT NOW I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT THE ANGELS HELD YOU TIGHT .I WOULD HAD I BEEN THERE. I WONDER IF THEY KISSED YOUR CHEEKS AND REMINDED YOU THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU &THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP & I WILL FOREVER GRIEVE FOR YOU.DID THEY WHISPER IN YOUR EAR THAT YOU WOULD NOT GO ALONE? DID THEY KNOW THAT A PART OF ME WOULD GO WITH YOU? I GUESS THEY DID BECAUSE THEY ARE WITH GOD AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. EACH DAY THAT YOUR ARE AWAY GETS HARDER TO BARE. MY WORLD HAS BECOME A VERY DARK PLACE AND MAY NEVER SEE LIGHT AGAIN I THINK OF YOU EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND, IN MY HEART. I LOOK SO FORWARD TO THE TIME I AM WITH YOU AGAIN….FOREVER. I AM SO SORRY THAT I CAN’T LET YOU GO, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THAT. BUT I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO GOD HAS YOU BUT I ALSO HAVE A PART OF YOU I WILL NEVER FORGET THE FUN WE HAD. I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU AND HOW YOU CALL ME AND WOULD ALWAYS SAY I LOVE YOU MOM & ALSO I SEE WHY YOU SAID THAT THE SONG 2 PAC MADE DEAR MOM WAS OUR SONG.YES IT IS NOT EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. BUT I KNOW WHICH PARTS . I LOVE YOU MY ONLY SWEET SON. R.I.P {BUCKET}







 MY SON CEDRIC{BUCKET}JOHNSON WHEN HE WAS ABOUT 3 OH! HOW I MISS HIS SMILE!

FROM BUCKET LIL SISTER DEANDRIA
I'M HURTIN NOW DAT U GONE IT DONT FEEL DA SAME WITHOUT U. I WUZ THINKIN ABOUT DIS WHEN I FIRST FOUND OUT LIKE MAN......DAT WASN'T U, BUT WHEN I SAW U N DAT CASKET IT WUZ TRUE. I KNO U DIDNT WANT US TA BE LIKE DIS BUT MAN........ DATS DA WAY LIFE IZ. I MISS ALL DA THINGS WE DID 2GETHER. SOMEDAYZ WE DIDNT GET ALONG BUT DATS HOW SISTER N BROHAS IZ. I KNO U DIDNT WANT MOMMA N DADDY N DA FAMILY TA FEEL DA WAY THEY FEELIN NOW. WE STILL KNO U LOVE US N MISS US. MOMMA N DADDY GONNA BE ALRIGHT I PROMISE DAT.I GOT TEARS ROLLIN DOWN MY CHEEK RIGHT NOW I KNO U DONT WANT DAT, BUT ITS FUNNY HOW U WIT A PERSON N DA NEXT DAY THEY GONE....I LOVE U BUCKET by your lil sister Deandria {Egg} 



  


 From michele one of my sister moms 

 Feb 2nd, 2007 - 9:22 PM Re: Dear Mama (2pac)
 
dear terry, i went to the memory board today and saw Buckets picture. i also went to his web site and looked at all of the other photos and things about him. what a beautiful young man. you must be so proud. it made me cry looking at all of his pictures. i am not sure why. i guess i was just feeling your pain. maybe reliving mine. i dont know. i am glad that there was a picture of you on there. you are just as beautiful as him. so are your girls. you dont look old enough to be his mom. it helped me to see who i have been talking to and praying for. i will also keep the girls in my prayers. bless your heart. i am so glad that my words and prayers are helping you! i have walked in your shoes and i know how horrible life seems right now. i promise you that the pain will ease in time. you will not always feel hopeless and desperate to die. i promise. hang in there. you have the strength to do this!!!! you might want to consider keeping a journal of your thoughts. it really does help. i know you said that spelling is not your strong point but the journal only has to be for you to read so you dont need to worry about spelling or grammar. it really helped me. let 
me pray with you right now- immagine me holding your hand-dear lord, o loving and caring father, please lift up your child terry and carry her through this seemingly impossible time as she is greiving the loss of her precious son cedric. we know that he is with you and is in your loving arms. we mourn not because he is with you but because we are here on earth and miss him. please help ease the pain in terry's heart so that she can comfort her other two children who are also in pain. please help terry to eventually find some peace and happiness again because right now nothing seems okay without her beautiful son. bless her whole family as this death is so new and raw. thank you lord for giving terry what short time she had with her son and for all the joy he brought to her. help her to remeber the joy and how blessed she is to have experienced such love. we trust you o lord to be our guide when we are to consumed with greif to guide ourselves. we know you understand our pain lord, for you too had your son murdered. bless and keep this precious child of yours. in jesus name we pray, amen. p.s.weird coincidence maybe, but my best childhood friend had a nickname for me "buckethead". love michele

He Only Took My Hand
Last night while I was trying to sleep,
My son Cedric voice I did hear.
I opened my eyes and looked around
But he did not appear.
He said, "Mama you've got to listen,
You've got to understand,
God didn't take me from you, Mama,
He only took my hand.
When I called out in pain that day,
The instant that I died,
He reached down and took my hand,
And pulled me to His side.
He pulled me up and saved me
From the misery and pain.
My body was hurt so badly inside,
I could never be the same.
My search is really over now,
I've found happiness within.
All the answers to my empty dreams
And all that might have been.
I love you so and miss you so,
And I'll always be nearby.
My body's gone forever,
But my spirit will never die!
And so, you must go on now,
Live one day at a time.
Just understand-
God did not take me from you,
He only took my hand."
I love you mama and the good times we had and I know you miss,
love me 2 but we will meet again when God calls your name... I love u 




God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone 
you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart 


MY SON CEDRIC JUST BEFORE HE WAS MURDERED R.I.P MY BABY I LOVE YOU! MAMA WILL NEVER SMILE AGAIN WHEN THE TOOK YOUR LIFE THEY TOOK MY LIFE AND I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AND WISH SOMEONE COULD TELL ME WHY?? BUT ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY? AND I PRAY THAT ONE DAY I WILL KNOW TOO....MAMA NEVER SEEN YOU CRY ONLY ALWAYS SMILEING AND MAKING YOUR FAMILY LAUGH,SMILE OH HOW WILL ALL MISS THAT CRAZY LAUGH OF YOUR R,I.P MY SON, PLEASE ASK GOD OUR FATHER TO PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR HAPPY AND SAFE AND STILL HAVE THAT SAME SMILE THAT I LOVED SO MUCH.  PLEASE GOD LET ME KNOW MY SON IS ALRIGHT AND HAPPY WITH MY MOTHER,GRANDMOTHER,HIS BABY NICE JAZZ GOD WE KNOW YOU KNOW BEST BUT IT DOSN'T STOP THE PAIN I FEEL. BUT I LOVE YOU GOD MY FATHER AND I KNOW ONEDAY YOU WILL HELP ME AND THAT I WILL ONEDAY SEE MY SON AGAIN .BUT UNTIL THEN I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU THINK YOU GOD FOR GIVING ME A SON THAT ALWAYS' SHOWED ME NOTTHING BUT LOVE AND KINDNESS . AMEN!! LOVE YOUR MOTHER TERRY JOHNSON BROWN




A woman has strengths that amaze me...

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens
She holds happiness, love & opinions
She smiles when she feels like screaming
She sings when she feels like crying
She cries when she's happy, and laughs when shes afraid, and her love is unconditional.
There's only one thing wrong with her, she forgets what she’s worth!"